Everyone’s journey is unique, however, the fertility journey can be rough road full of unforeseen events, pitfalls and loss. Loss of a dream, of yourself and maybe even your outlook on life and your relationship with self.
To stay’postive’ on this journey is not to deny all the feelings that make us human. Not to hide the fact that you are close to tears when you friend announce a pregnancy or to force a smile when someone ask how you’re doing. It’s about taking action, self empowerment and finding the positive light somewhere in between the depth of your mixed emotions. This will help to uplift you as you find your success on becoming a mother, whatever you choose what that may look like.
Here are 4 tips that will uplift and empower you to see you fertility experience with new eyes;
1. An attitude of gratitude ‘
Thankful for what’? I might hear you ask. But hear me out. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is one of the best ways to stay positive on this journey that might feel never ending. Start to journal and every night you write 5 things down that you are grateful for. At first you will find the mundane every day stuff to be thankful for, like your soft bed, another day that you can reach your goals, a warm healthy meal. Soon you will find though you are grateful for the ray of sun breaking through the clouds after a storm, the rose that’s blooming outside your bedroom window. Little pockets of beauty will start to become visible everywhere. You will feel the shift and feel a change when you become aware of the abundance of love and beauty that surrounds you.
Having this morning or evening ritual of gratitude will also be of major support on stressful days and throughout challenging treatments and procedures. On the days you don’t feel grateful it is of utmost importance to sustain the practice even if it’s a repeat of yesterday’s gratitude list. There are always something to be grateful for and those are the things that will keep you moving forward.
2. Be kind to yourself
Often life and the chaos of daily living steals away opportunities to do something that you actually love. Guilt also shows up when we choose to rest instead of being productive of pro-active. Our social conditioning has lead us to believe that rest and self care is a luxury and for the lazy. We can not be further from the truth. Burnout is real, and it’s not a joke. Something’s got to give when we push ourselves, even when we know we are tired and fed up and can’t go on. Being kind to yourself means you need to rest when you get a gap, you need to take a time out. Mostly our days are so crazy that maybe you have to schedule it into your calendar. If you can have the self discipline to eat all the right food, why not cultivate the discipline to rest and to make it a priority.
3. Add some sparkle to your love life
Waiting for you period is no fun. Peeing on a stick is no fun. Scheduling baby making sex is no fun. And getting the negative pregnancy test result is certainly the worst part. But this is not all that ‘trying to conceive’ is all about.
This time of your life, the journey to conception, is a time to make friends with your body, to reconnect with your deepest heart’s desires. Use this time to work on liking and loving yourself and your body.
It is also a time to reconnect with your partner and to prioritise sex. But not just baby making sex, proper passionate raw love making. Have sex even if you’re not ovulating and try something new like a different position, some new undies. Make sure that your undies aren’t as dull as the process of falling pregnant, spoil yourself with beautiful lingerie. We feel so much better when we make the effort to look better. The end game is important yes, but so is the journey. Don’t get caught up and attached to immediate outcomes. When you go on a holiday, do you enjoy the ride there? Do you make a road trip of it? Do the same for this road to conception.
4. Find support online
If you’re the only one in your group of friends that is struggling to fall pregnant, it is going to be hard to find the support you need in your circle of friends. Jealousy is real and the struggle to fall pregnant even more so. It is important to speak to someone you trust and know what you are going through. If you can’t find it within your circle of friends, try finding it online. You will be surprised at the amount of groups of women who’s going through a similar situation as you online. The internet is our friend if we get to learn to discern the information coming to us. You might even make a friend that will be by your side every step of the way. In my books that’s a win.
Trying to conceive can be very stressful and we live in a time and era where everything is instant and quick. One can’t rush calling in a soul into this realm, and we certainly have to be patient if the body and heart needs some time to adjust to the idea of pregnancy and motherhood. Start by mothering yourself, nurturing yourself, showing up for yourself. Soon you will find a mind shift that is positive and a support system that will carry you through the difficult times.
Want to learn more, follow me on instagram @maidentomother.sa for more tips and tricks to navigate your road to conception.